I Tried Reddit’s Best Sex Advice—and It Was Surprisingly Good

Fall down the Reddit rabbit hole and you’re clicks away from everything you’d ever want to know about skincare, sleep, pregnancy, and (you might be surprised to learn) sex!

Of course, you can’t believe everything you read online and Reddit sex threads aren’t monitored for accuracy-« No offense to Reddit, I do love the site, but it can be a breeding ground for people who think they know everything, » says Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy emporium Babeland-but that doesn’t mean this cult-favorite site isn’t harboring some gems.

So I ran a few of the sex tips by Finn and Lateef Taylor, a sex educator and sex-positivity advocate, and with their approval, I gave them a try for myself.

Scroll down to read about four of the best sex tips I found on Reddit-and what happened when (my partner and) I tried them.

Masturbate Alongside Your Partner

One Reddit user took to the online hub to find out if other people (besides he and his wife) find mutual masturbation magical. In just five days, over 2,500 folks took to the post to let him they love it, too.

« I find the intimate sharing of something so personal as self-pleasure incredible, » writes the original poster (OP). « It’s honestly great and I find it really intimate! » says another user. One commenter who has chronic pain notes mutual masturbation is a « godsend » when they’re hurting: « I [can] stay comfortable under my heating pad and rest in the nook of my husband’s arm and feel really intimate. »

What is it about mutual masturbation that makes it as intimate as these Redditters say it is? « As a society, masturbation is still pretty taboo. It’s something that’s thought of as being done in private or not at all, » explains Finn. Sharing that with a partner can be really vulnerable for some, » and that shared vulnerability can lead to extreme intimacy, » she says.

« It’s a huge learning experience, » adds Taylor. « You get to watch and study how your partner likes to be touched. » Maybe you always move your fingers side-to-side while they touch themselves using circles, or maybe you hold the vibrator right on their hotspot, while they like to hold it off to the side, says Taylor. You can use all of this info to better pleasure your partner down the line. (Related: 13 Mind-Blowing Masturbation Tips)

VERY convinced to give this tip a try, I pulled out one of my new favorite vibrators, and my partner pulled out the lube. Then, we cued up Bryson Tiller and proceeded to touch ourselves, together. And fam, let me tell you: It’s as intimate and H-O-T as the Reddit users would have you believe. Especially when there’s eye contact…

Engage In Aftercare

If your exposure to BDSM is limited to Fifty Shades of Grey, you might think power-play only involves pain, whips, floggers, or handcuffs. But there’s another element you don’t see; « aftercare » is something (responsible) BDSM practitioners do after sex or a scene and, according to some Reddit users, it’s something everyone (kinky or not) should be doing. (Related: The Beginners Guide to BDSM).

What is aftercare, exactly? One Reddit user describes aftercare as, « being sweet and tender and present with each other after sex. So, spooning, cuddling, talking softly, asking if they’re okay or if they need something. Sometimes you might both take a nap in each other’s arms or hold hands. Other times, wrap each other in blankets or rub each other down while talking. »

Finn says that’s more or less accurate, adding that aftercare is about making sure both you and your lover feel safe, respected, cared for, and comfortable. « While it’s essential for heavier or more intense BDSM scenes, it can also be used after vanilla sex (however you do define that), » she says, agreeing that aftercare is for all.